Kissing Peter Pan Goodbye

*NOTE: This blog entry does not involve fellow blogger Pixie’s absolute fave pixie, nor does it concern the plot of the legendary story mentioned above...*

Once in nearly every lifetime, each child would dream, wish for, and imagine the rather infamous flying boy clad in green leaves fly through their windows, greeting them with a handful of pixie dust to lead them off to Neverland. Pan certainly looked like the embodiment of an eternal childhood, stunted by the profound fact that he would never once grow old, would never be able to experience the dreaded ‘coming of age’ of adulthood. For Pan, he could soar above all his problems, his responsibilities, simply with an unlimited source of good thoughts! How unbearably lucky! Unfortunately for us, we have no choice but to grow and to grow old.

I recalled a time in Canada when I once scoffed at the thought of transforming into an adult; into the figure I most dreaded becoming. The classroom was by no means freezing cold nor burning hot as the seasons slowed its priorities for the time being and allowed the city to bask in a warm morning. We were in a discussion, as always, regarding absolutely anything but the actual topic which we were meant to study. I contentedly finished my notes as I listened to my Geography / Business teacher warning the others about how time would soon speed up, passing us by at an unnoticed rate until at last we are confronted with the world of adulthood. He told us to email him as soon as the idea occurred to us (meaning, right after we finished college or university), telling him that he was right all along.

I must now admit grudgingly that he was truly, forlornly, and deploringly right.

I was in Grd. 9 when he warned us and now I am entering a state of awkwardness as I attempt to tackle IB 2 years later.

Even now I dread adulthood, the thought of leaving behind my home in pursuit of my own. I believe that I had even addressed the thought in a previous blog entry to emphasize a bit more on my fears. My parents, even before we left for Indonesia, warned me time and time again that I would regret not making use of my time in high school once I enter university. How strange, the fact that my parents were the first to introduce me to the world of responsibilities and absolute freedom. I have to admit, that absolutely freaked me out!

Numerous times, I desired to turn back the clock, to slow down time, to do something to prevent the inevitable from occurring. I know that this blog entry may seem to be overly exaggerated, but hey, you can only be a kid for a little while longer before that phase in your life would fade out completely out of sight. Now more than ever, I dreamed to be in a land where age is eternally prevented from taking hold on a soul, a place where time doesn’t matter, a place where childhood would always be a reality…

This sound too dramatic :(

I have to admit that as much as I hate being an adult, in many other aspects it would be far better off to be so than merely a child. Sure, growing up would mean taking a step closer to our graves, but not doing so would also mean not being able to experience the best years of our lives. As much as I want to stay a teen, how much more would I learn and realize about myself if I could take a step further with my years. (Of course, with this thought a measure of maturity would come into play, though, at the moment, it’s a totally different story).

And so, I kiss Peter Pan goodbye once and for all. Life’s been good with him, but better off without. I would continue to dread accepting the responsibilities required of me as well as the new problems that would appear each step of the way, but at least I know that my childhood is not so completely abandoned. I would treasure whatever memories I do have of my one time as a kid.

How strange it is how some kids could hardly wait to become teenagers and yet deny the fact that they now look like adults twenty years later.

Now, they are those who need a bit more pixie dust and a certain immortal boy in their lives :)