John, My Love

Note: This fallowing piece of writing is an entry for my last absence the previous week. Sorry for the tardiness.

John. My Dear John. I see you sitting in your dark mahogany work table with you quill, only in my dreams. My heart longs achingly for you. My mind runs to you from the silent solitude of this room. My very soul cries for you. I awake before the sun peep its head out of the horizon to anticipate the blue man in uniform to bring me my love in a piece of parchment. It’s been 763 days since I’ve read and embraced your love, our love. The tallies of ink and papers I’ve used to await the day to hear you, now only inhabits the corners of my library. Looking down on my bare hands I feel an emptiness I never thought could consume me in tears only by the memory of how your hands use to fill mine.

John. I now sit on my wooden stool looking out of the window still to look for any sign of life, of you… John, John, John! I miss you so. My heart not only burns for you but longs for your vast ocean of tender touch and gentle words. Those words you spoke during the ominous sunset we shared in between the spaces of our breath. That I was the one. I was the one that completed you. John, how could you leave me so? Remember those ‘maple snows’ you thought me of. Now winter has apparently settled in without you here. Oh, how it slowly melted on the heat of my tongue. Oh, the puzzle of it all. I no longer have sanity, not even a piece of mine. You are like a drug to me John ever since you slipped away from our rabbit hole. Come back to me.

I stand in a crossroad without you here. I might as well choose a path that dims each time a step is taken. I stand here now knowing that you are will never come back again. Yet, keep checking my mailbox each day and check to see if you come back to the bench were we once sat in silence. The silence that hugs our very existence, so I thought… It wasn’t us. It was you. It was you who gave me the true meaning of life. The moment your lips touched mine ever so gently in that cold winter night, was the moment my heart blossomed. The night you left me was the night I died inside, every second you weren’t by my side my heart closed its blossom forever. But I lived, oh how I lived while you loved me. It was enough, my life is complete. Your very being will soon degrade in the grounds of the earth, but I choose to wait when death soon come to me with open arms leading me to you.