First Impressions

I lay my head wearily against the uncomfortable seat I was condemned to sit on for the past 24 or so hours and sighed as my ears popped and my head ringed from the airplane’s thundering, monotonic engine. The window was rolled down and my youngest brother sat beside me, his head tilting at a strange angle as drool poured out of his mouth. It was still dark outside; nighttime, I figured, even though I didn’t get an hour’s worth of sleep, no thanks to an annoying case of jetlag. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to clear my mind and tried to think forwardly to this trip, wondering what was in store for me. I knew where I was headed, but I wondered what it would be like after so many years.

When I left, the country was practically in shambles; the 1998 riot left numerous people desperate for safety and worry plagued everyone’s mind as to what would happen to Chinese and foreign inhabitants still living in Indonesia. I remembered myself the tension and anxiety as news reached us that the neighbouring mall burned down. I remembered my dad watching out in front of our house, wondering if the rioters would penetrate the district security system.

I suddenly lurched forward as turbulence rocked the plane and I clutched at my stomach, trying hard not to puke. I again wondered what Indonesia looks like after so many years, whether it had changed for the better or if it had remained the same without any signs of improvement. As I thought these things, I pulled the plane’s window up and was greeted by the sun’s bright rays as we glided across the clouds. Soon, I will be touching the ground on where I was born. Soon, I will see again the dark, brooding clouds of smoke which surrounds Indonesia and know that this was once the home I knew, but is now what I regard a foreign land.

* * *

I remembered smiling at the strange and tropical vegetation that was displayed all across the background of the Soekarno Hatta airport. I recalled, although exhausted and weak, being heartened at finally being able to see the country that I left so many years ago, the country which I once shared intimate and close experiences and memories with. I smiled while listening to broken pieces of conversation in Indonesian, knowing that I at least would not be completely lost in this old, yet, new world. My first image of Indonesia was so far bright and airy, if not humid. Then, as brief and light my first view of Jakarta was, I was whisked away to see for myself the genuine, scorching hot, smoke-filled, grimy streets of Indonesia.

So much for first impressions.

As we passed along the so-called highways of Indonesia, I remembered being disappointed that Indonesia did not improve its economic, social, and overall governing system after all these years I have been away. Sure, there were more buildings, malls, and unnecessary stores, but the core of Indonesia itself had not changed. You can always cover yourself simply by wearing a mask, but your true character will surface eventually whether you like it or not. I was honestly expecting something more modern and organized in this city, even though its population number and crowded housing complexes were beyond anything that I have experienced in Canada. I recalled that as soon as I left the airport, the car stopped, without any indication or traffic lights, to let people on stained bikes and motorcycles pass. It was then that I realized that villages were built surrounding the large city.

Traveling further into Jakarta, I was also surprised to see how many cars were packed into the roads and how so many of the city’s population were scattered around its malls and streets; some of the people I saw were staring out into space or loitering about the streets with nothing to do. It was odd how even with the amount of media, broadcasting units, and advocators who are pushing for a better future there are still many of those who are living in poverty, despair, and idleness. I realized even from my first view of Indonesia that this country required leaders with a strong ability to not only speak of promises, but to also accomplish what they have said and outlined. I wondered if I had somehow traveled through time to a place where the transfer between the modern and the traditional world was still taking place.

This is, of course, simply my opinion. Slowly however, as reality began to sink in, I realized that Indonesia was, in its own way, better than many of the countries I have visited. Though the country itself is becoming increasingly hedonistic, Indonesia’s government should be credited for managing its various tribes and cultural groups without any major conflicts occurring as opposed to numerous war-tainted countries where its years of independence were marked with blood, fear, and countless deaths of innocent civilians. As I watched blurring landscapes pass by my car window as I made my way home, I acknowledged that Indonesia’s government was continually improving its system, even though the length of time taken for it to do so may amount to decades.

So. I have to say that Indonesia had not changed significantly throughout the years I lived in Canada, but what is to be expected from a country that is still recovering from a major economic setback from the early 1990s and the fear of yet another riot? As I lay in bed the same night after my horrible and utterly boring plane ride, I was aware that even though Indonesia may have its problems, it still has the potential to pull itself out of the conflicts and criticism which were surrounding its foundation.