Friendship the only ship I have been on that had sunk

When I was younger, things such as friendship was simple and therefore beautiful.
Now somehow as I matured and growing into and adult, my thoughts have managed to turn friendship as an ugly entity. I guess losing your innocence is indeed a sort of death.
It was just high school I suppose. It was profoundly disappointing.
I thought certain people were my friends. But then they say that we aren't.
I have no idea what friends are supposed to be.
And what boundaries I am supposed to take.
Maybe it's enough that we had struggled together.
Maybe I am one of those people who are good to study with.
But not worth spending time over anything else.
Meeting people from high school again became awkward despite of how close I thought we were.
And I am struck by this thought.
Am I the only one who remembers the times we had?
I suppose forgetting is inevitable. But it still made me so sad despite how my rationale had accepted this. My heart had yet to reconcile what my mind had accepted.

Over time, I hope that God would have the grace to let me forget these memories as well. Treasuring these memories the other person doesn't remember is quite painful.
Sometimes I wish that God didn't give me such a good memory.But well I am thankful nevertheless. Though maybe when I have the luxury of having many, many friends, I would be the same as them and forget everything. That's why they like cameras I guess while I can still count on my memories.

Side note, went sand boarding yesterday on a Port Stephen's trip. Went four times. It was fun I suppose but my heart wasn't in the state of enjoying it as much. Felt guilty about waking up LL in the morning but well, I am not very good at waiting these days. And it was at 9 so hopefully she got enough rest to not be too pissed at me. Wonder if when she was going for exchange I would lose her as well. But well I'll still be grateful to God even for those that have forgotten me. I didn't have anything to offer to them anyway and so, even if the friendship they extended was because of lack of choice or to be more correct, propinquity. Well, at least I am now good at letting go. Or either I am too good at letting go and it was all my fault. Either way, I can't change it and I'll just have to accept that this is a part of my life.