Ordinary Nostalgia

Note: I apologize for whatsoever assault to your senses had occurred and everything and anything bad that had happened to your life from your birth to the point you finish reading this entry. So please don't sue.

Most people who know me would probably agree that I am indeed anti-social. But to a certain degree, I still have interactions socially though it is indeed limited. These interactions though limited are fun indeed and I find pleasure in reminiscence. However, as time glides, my memory fails me such that even the power of nostalgia find it impossible to open the doors of my mind to the key points of my social life. So, in a desperate attempt to reclaim the past so that I could look unashamedly to the future, I have decided to share them no matter how boring they are to you so that at if I don't remember, at least the internet would have it, so that to some degree not all of my childhood life is forgotten.

While I had never been close to a girl outside my family in either relationship or proximity during my childhood, I did have memories of some of them, especially the girls in Singapore for no particular reason. My first year in Singapore, I fell prey to puppy love, something I thought I would never have. She was astoundingly big hearted and was admirably oblivious to my various oddities. Up to this day, I fondly recall her mischievous smile and her sleek black hair. Of course given my extraordinarily bad luck with girls, I was treated less than decently by some of them. One that would stand in my mind is a Malay girl called Emi..... with which I had a fierce rivalry with for a position within the class. Ironically though, she was the first girl to have ever called me at my home and probably one of the few that ever will.

Another prominent girl that I recall vividly would be old, whats her name. To recall, at my first impressions, she caught my eye as she was quite beautiful and a prefect on top of that, so I was eager to cast the best impressions. My experiences with her had however taught me a few things about life such as:

The first would be that females are prone to violent, irrational behavior for no apparent reason. As I was twiddling my thumbs, looking at the scenery to the window, for no apparent reason than that probably the fact that I had assaulted her senses in some way, she had decided to hit my head with a bottle, hard, probably resulting in a small decrease of IQ. Not only that she used to mock me. To this day, with her image burned to my memory, I had never associated with violent girls unless necessary.

The second would be that it cultivated in me a degree of rebelliousness, a hate for the authority despite an understanding for its need. Being that she was a prefect, I never got round the impression that all authority deceives people publicly but abuses their power violently in private.

Why she was most featured prominently in this entry would be that she was to my child self, the epitome of meanness. From that point onwards in my life, I could not be rational in my first judgments and impressions of a girl. For instance, I have a completely irrational initial bad judgment of girls with really short hair and anybody similar to her. In some way, though, I am grateful for her evil as being myself, I am incapable of having a preference and her treatment to me had narrowed it down significantly.

While this entry might be boring to everyone, it is to me an enjoyable trip to somewhere distant, a childhood long past, a time when all was innocent before girls were evil and after girls were. Indeed I apologize if I had occupied the internet with rambles such as these which has no thought put into it whatsoever but I feel it necessary to help myself recover the things no one else knew and understood but my past self and my present self.