Have been such a deadbeat lately. I thank God that I have the opportunity and privilege of being able to change my course of life, unlike many others. Going back to Indonesia pretty soon. Kinda, sort of excited though on the other hand I do feel some guilt in that in Indonesia with many conveniences readily available, I will not strive to develop myself. I shall try though. I think one of my virtues is trying again after a long period of giving up. I guess not being a genius have its perks.
These days, I feel that so little things have value to me. Is it what they call a spiritual death, I wonder? In turn, this has hindered my desire to strive. Not that the desire was particularly strong to start with. However I have the good fortune of people around me striving and seeing this daily struggle has lit a very dim spark for me to strive harder.
All in all, I hope that God continues to permit me to grow. I shall try myself but I know above all that I can't do it alone. Hmmm sidetracked and digression lately, my attempts of humouring others have fallen despite the fact that I watch a lot of comedy. Yes, I am silly. I think this is the most degraded all my skills have been. One aspect of Indonesia I am certain to enjoy is the piano for which I aim to improve on this summer. Other aspects I still am uncertain with but I will leave it to God. Privilege is a heavy burden to bear when you are ordinary.
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